Flat Earths
Are you one of those ROUND-EARTHERS? Do you think the sun isn't hung from a bale of twine cast down from the star-heavens? Well then, don't bother trying this couch-multiplaying, trident-hurling, death-o-gasm of a game.
JUST DON'T BOTHER!
IT'S NOT FOR YOU. Go back to your schooools and your interwebs, sheeple.
Still here? Then you're in the club. We meet every Thursday under the wilted elm behind the ghost of the old Windsor Castle in Boise Idaho. Bring torches, sketpicism, and a preparedness for mind destroying truth. Also BYOB.
As for features, I think we can safely promise
1-4 Players local death-match insanity with AI opponents to fill out the roster
Multiple movement, scoring, and collision modes which can be randomized to increase the insanity
Multiple rendering modes which can be stacked to further increase the insanity
Toggleable 'goodies' to increase player speed, flip the screen, and generally increase the insanity
Not so veiled references to the many earths being flat masquerading as a perfectly sane idea